I thought work couldn’t get any better, and though I rarely agree with the boss, this time I heartily do. Thanks Boss. Oh, and to Julia- thanks for nothing. (Part three of the Jilted Julia Saga.)

Exit Interview For Bossy Boots.

‘So, Julia you’ve been with us a year to the day,
Sadly the evidence says you’ve outstayed your stay,
So lets review your flaws before you go on your way
With our good wishes and an even greater redundancy pay’

‘Let us peruse the views of your ex-staff, if we may?
They can contain a clue- or two- to where you went astray,
One good point is they do say you’re real hard work and no play,
Negative traits… hmmm they do go on- and on and ON, don’t they?’

‘Complaints against you… hmm, laid in endless array,
Your words of complaint about them cause me a twinge of dismay…
No, don’t tell an employee to ‘fuck off,’ the Company prefer ‘go away,’
I agree with your staff, so no argument, Julia, just go away, without delay.
Or ‘fuck off’ as you say.’

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Julia, it was not good to know you… It’s no sad goodbye from those once below you. (An addendum of sorts to the previous post.)

Re:Boot.

I took pleasure in seeing the boss kick Julia’s ass out the door;
My one regret is not putting in a few myself, to even the score,
But no, I’d kick myself if I didn’t regret doing one thing more
And that’s seeing her off with my size nine from the sixth floor.

Some work days you start off by singin’ the blues but leave with a song in your heart.

Complete Harmony And Perfect Bitch.

When we heard the company had jettisoned Julia
There was stunned silence around the water cooler,
I’ve never seen a team responsive as peculiar
As their spontaneous chorus of ‘Hallelujah!’

Don rallies support at Mississippi for Brett Kavanaugh, and attacks the lack of total recall of a woman assaulted years ago by him, allegedly. When it comes to justice, luckily we can rely on Don to judge. Don really hopes there won’t be many more taxing times like these.

Being Seen To Be Done.

At the rally Donald took the sword
To the testimony of Ms Blasey Ford,
How high Donald’s rhetoric soared-
From his lips the scorn petulantly poured.

See how his red-capped rabble rousers applaud
The irreverent words of the man adored,
The cheap shots and low blows Don scored-
Shouldn’t his deplorable words be deplored?

No, Don don’t believe some conniving broad-
Nor those mean #me too chicks who sew discord-
Don’s happy to let Brett take the Supreme award
And welcome another rich red-faced man aboard.

But there are some words Don’s pointedly ignored-
Loans Don got from Fred before he went to his final reward-
Up there, on high (or more likely, down with the Dark Lord,)
All FAKE NEWS, Don swears solemnly, a TOTAL fraud.

Don goes off to the United Nations, then on to centre stage. He walks the walk. He stands up, he delivers his knock-out punch. Wow, what a champ.

Worldly Wise Guy.

Before the United Nations Donald stood,
He was gonna show ’em, gonna tell ’em good,
All his accomplishments he was proud to state-
Modestly thinking his speech was not just good, but great.

Don smiled and waited… for the thunderous applause,
His words had caused his audience considerable pause…
Back home his rallies had rednecks cheering wall to wall,
But his clap trap didn’t move this audience to respond at all.

Then came a titter, then a giggle, then laughter uncontained,
Being the funny guy is one thing Don had never entertained,
Now the Great ‘Merican Hero’s smug smile is looking grim,
Leading the free world is no joke when the laugh’s on him.

Late at night, trawling through the channels and I fell upon this tender offering from the past. So serious, so silly, so… If any fans feel distraught about this all I can offer is, ‘sorry- grow up.’

The Vampire Diatribes.

First Entry.

The full moon shone down, bright and clear
As she left the pub full of cider and good cheer,
When from out of the shadows ol’ Dracula did appear
She gave out a cry as down her thigh ran a…frisson of fear.

This sure put a dampener on the nights atmosphere.

The Count slid towards her with a lecherous leer,
She feared this was her dying day as he drew near,
As his fangs grazed her neck she whispered in his ear
Bitter words no salivating vampire ever desires to hear.

Immodest confessions no fair Catholic maid could volunteer.

She has developed quite the reputation round here,
Has an accommodating nature that’s sure to endear,
Her maidenhood hadn’t withstood her sixteenth year,
She’d long laid her honor to rest, and not shed one tear.

So while she’s lying safely abed, Drac’s crying in his bier.

I read a passage or two the other day on how the zealots and moral guardians down here on Gods good earth can come to terms with the temptations of Trump. It seems almost all can be forgiven. Now, let us pray…

A Flipping Miracle.

Good God, I find it hard to believe those who do believe
That Donald Trump is part of Gods mysterious Master plan,
Those of blind faith who found a black president impossible to conceive
Yet can find little fault in this one, Gods Right White quite imperfect man.

Any conservative will admit he’s a philanderer,
But Sweet Jesus, Donald’s making a great nation,
And doth the Good Book not say, ‘to be human is to err?’
Let’s give Don the benefit of doubt (and a liberal translation.)

How the bloody righteous paw through chapter and verse,
Praying pardon for their (play)boys less than model behaviour,
Finding any blessed reason to praise a man Beelzebub would curse;
How Divine, stumbling on such a forgiving anti-Gay-Muslim-Refugee Saviour.